I hope you have been well. We have just had birthday week at our house. It's 3 birthdays in a week. Which means lots of food and lots of cake. Which is great and we have a lot of fun with it. Our birthday tradition is everyone gets to pick their favourite home cooked meal for dinner and a cake they love and all the kids show up, sometimes with friends and partners and is a great big family dinner. Heaps of work and heaps of fun. I believe these are the memories the kids hold on too.
So why did I title this FAT? Well it seems to be a bit of a subject of the moment. As we head into summer people often look at loosing the extra weight and I have had a few clients speak of it in the last little bit. So I have decided to talk about it here.
Also, in the last few months, I have had contact from a few people within networking companies that promote products that can help with FAT. Now please know, I have no problem with networking companies and support most where I can. I would rather some money go into my friends pockets than big business. I think most are set up to support people with personal growth and can have really positive benefits for everyone. That is not my beef here. It is the insinuation that I may need help with my FAT. Of course this is not what is said. The messages speak of how I can help my health and yes, this is what I would be interested in. However, the underlying message is always about FAT. The before and after photos are of how big I was to how much I lost and while the words talk of energy and health, well, as they say, a picture tells a thousand words.
Don't get me wrong, I am not angry at these people. I am simply saying that as a society, the focus is still on being less FAT.
This is what I believe the industry is built on...
Fear - We put so much fear in people. If you don't exercise you will get heart disease, if you don't take this pill you will get sick, if you don't eat superfood you will get cancer, if you don't do whatever the thing is you won't survive.
Fear is such a crippling and horrible thing. We fear that if we are fat no one will love us. We fear not fitting in. We fear not looking like everyone else.
Fear of these things, I believe, is one of the biggest causes of anxiety and stress today. Especially in our teens.
Fear does not help, ever. It does not serve or support you. It causes major physical reactions in the body that will actually do more harm, make us sicker and in the long term, it will shorten our life.
Abuse - Yes FAT shaming is abuse. So many people make others wrong simply for being FAT. The problem is, those who think they are FAT are also shaming themselves. It is really hard to talk nice to yourself about your body when the world makes it wrong.
I have a question for you - Is fat the worst thing I can be? Really, this is a serious question. Because I know people who are "FAT" that are kind, loving and generous souls and I know people who are "FAT" who are mean spirited, unkind and sad. Does any of this have to do with the size of their body? I also know skinny people who fall into both these categories and I am sure you do too. FAT shaming has to stop, shaming ourselves and shaming others.
I believe that we come into these physical bodies for this life time, but these bodies are not who we are, they are not our essence. These bodies are our vehicles for this adventure. Shaming the vehicle, or abusing someone for the condition of their vehicle is just plain wrong.
Threat - This is a bit like fear. We are threatened that we will die if we are FAT. That is so unhealthy to be FAT. Now I am not saying we should not take care of our health, in fact I am going to talk about that soon, what I am saying is this threat is not helpful or always founded.
For example, one of the things the medical profession tells us is that fat contributes to diabetes. Now I am FAT and my blood sugar level is brilliant, and my lovely partner, who is not FAT has diabetes and lots of trouble with her blood sugar. Now I know this is not true in all cases, but neither is the treat of diabetes on all FAT people. I don't want to start a medical debate here, I am simply pointing out, that FAT does not always equate to sick.
I am sure you know at least one skinny person who lives off caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.
Skinny - yes, healthy - no.
Threats are fear based and there is a different way to do it.
So what is the answer? Well I certainly do not profess to have them all, or even most of them. But I do have a goal. For me, my goal is to be healthy.
To treat this vehicle with respect, something I have not always done. I have been known to call it a "meat suit" and it a lot of ways it is, just the suit I wear this life time, however today I change that. Today I refer to my body as the "body temple". It is a place I will show respect and love. Not in a worshipping way, but in a way that I show gratitude for the vehicle that it is for the journey I am on.
So for me, this is what HEALTHY means ...
H is for Happy. Are you happy? Happy goes along way to supporting your health. I am generally a happy person, but I know when my mood drops so do the good habits. Treating myself well is harder and it is easy to turn to food for comfort. Being happy feels better. A happy and joyful outlook not only feels good, but it also supports your immune system and promotes positive hormone function. When you feel happy, things seem to go better in your life and often FAT becomes less of an issue. Happily moving through life is a great way to be HEALTHY.
Embrace - just embrace who you are and this beautiful vehicle you were given. It is known that what your resists persists, whatever you give your attention to grows. If you are constantly shaming yourself, focusing on how fat you are and what food you need to eat to fix it, you are only giving energy to the thing you don't want. Embrace yourself, all of you, in a gentle and kind way. You are perfect just as you are. Oh and have you seen the movie? There is a brilliant new documentary by a Australian lady Taryn Brumfitt, the movie is called Embrace. Find out where you can check it out. #Ihaveembraced
Acceptance - you are perfect, perfectly you. Comparing yourself to others can only ever bring heartache and pain. Accept where you are at right now, all you have gone through, all you have experience and all you have learned has brought you to this place. Accept that this is just for now, it does not have to be for ever. Accept that you are lacking nothing, everything you need is available to you and accept that you are enough. Acceptance ends the struggle.
Love - of course. Yes I am going to say it, love yourself. I am talking about that kind of love that says "sometimes I don't like you, but I always love you" That kind of love, that know matter what, always exists. When you truly do this, when you embrace and accept who you are and where you are at, the love just flows. You begin to communicate with your body in loving ways, treating it with love, fuelling it and moving it with love. Love not fear. What if we really took the fear out of how our bodies are and just decided to come from love? Do the things that your body loves, exercise in ways your body loves, eat things that your body loves. Not because you will get sick if you don't but because if feels really really good to do things that your body loves. What if you loved yourself enough?
Truth - Be truthful with yourself. When I said to eat things your body loves, be truthful. You may be craving the ice cream, but does your body love the ice cream? Let's really get truthful, when we eat like crap, we feel like crap. Often I will ask people what their body wants and they will tell me some kind of junk food, however, a very quick muscle test will tell me this is not what their body wants. It may be what their emotions want, what their habits want, but not what their body wants. Get truthful with yourself. Are you happy? Are you loving yourself enough? Are you embracing yourself? Are you accepting yourself? Are you listening to your body? The truth will set you free.
Honour - so now we have got to the truth of it, honour that. Honour what your body needs. Don't cheat on yourself. There are only ever going to be a few things your body needs - hydration, nourishment, movement and rest are the most common. When your body lets you know which of these it wants, find out how it would like it, e.g. Does it want to move by dancing, running, swimming, walking? What feels good to your body? Listen, then honour the response you get by setting it in your schedule and doing it. The same applies to food and rest. Your body is wise and knows how to run in perfect balance, honour the wisdom of your body, listen closely.
You - you are what matters. How you feel about you matters. Not what others think or say, not what society thinks or says - no-one but you. Also you are the one who can do these things for yourself. There is no magic pill, there is no formula that fits everyone and there is no short cuts to a healthy happy you. No-one else can do it for you. It is all up to you and the good thing is I know you can do it, and I know I can too.You are amazing . You've got this.
So this is my take on FAT and HEALTHY. You may or may not agree with me, and that is okay. It is my opinion and my experience.
This is not a shout out for help, so if you feel the need to message me with a solution to my FAT or HEALTH, thank you, but no thank you. I'm okay with my FAT and I am HEALTHY too. I am working on these things everyday like the rest of us, some days I do well and some days not so well, it's a journey. I do not make myself wrong or right, it's just interesting.
In our new home we have lots of mirrors in our bedroom, this has caused me to look at myself a little more, sometimes while cringing, but this is me. I am enough and I love me. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly me. My body will change, vehicles do change. We have things that get broken, need replacing, need a tune up and maintenance, but if we keep them in good repair, they will last us a life time. So I vow to love my vehicle for the rest of my life, treat it with love, honour it, embrace it, accept it, be honest with it and be happy with all of it.
Big love and Blessings
